Great Circle

People used to say about one of my old workmates:”Bill’s got 110% enthusiasm. But it’s that extra 10% that gets him in trouble”.

I’ve come to disagree.

Bill’s problem was not too much enthusiasm; that was his strength (or one of them). His problem was the weakness(es) that undermined the good his optimism and energy accomplished. His good work was undone by poor communication.

If only Bill had checked in with his managers and workmates consistently whenever he had a bright idea - if only he’d sold them on it, caught them up in a vision of what was possible - he’d not have rushed ahead so often only to find others putting a stop to his plans (and unravelling his hard work).

Sometimes we’re told to rein in some strength that we have because it’s causing some kind of perceived problem. The truth is (as with Bill) that our strength is not the problem;  in reality there’s simply some lack of skill or personal quality that undermines it.

For instance, you might be a great networker: you love meeting new people, chatting about your product or service with great enthusiam. You’re demonstrative, with a terrific memory for people’s details (which you use to follow them up as leads).

Several people are starting to tell you that you’re coming on too strong and overpowering people, turning them off. What do you do? Do you put a lid on your natural personality and aptitudes? No! You find out what’s missing in your skillset and work on that instead! You develop better listening skills, channeling your exuberance into making each person you meet the focal subject of early conversations. You stop behaviour that makes people feel like “leads”. 

Guess what happens? They love you! Your natural liveliness coupled with the new way you give others your attention leaves very positive impressions with people. Your sales coincidentally go up (as do the numbers at your parties!)

Another example? You’re task-focussed and very good at getting things done. Your work-team, your wife and your friends have been telling you for years to “lighten up”, to be more personable, to spend more time with your kids. 

Should you stop being “task-focussed”? No! That’s your personality and a valuable trait in many areas of life. But maybe it’d help if you occasionally made people the task.

I’m sure that sounds cold and unemotive to many people; but for you it may be a lifeline. Devoting your accomplishment-mindset to creating memorable days out for the kids, planning a round of coffees with people you manage where you plan to find out one new thing about them every month, taking a project management approach to making your next anniversary celebration the best ever - ideas like this may be ways you can improve the quality of your relationships by using the very strength that seems to stand in the way.

Don’t downplay your strengths - find new ways to support them.

For more of the story, go to the authors of this concept: Marcus Buckingham & Donald O Clifton in the book Now, Discover Your Strengths. I couldn’t recommend it highly enough…