Great Circle

There was a polite knock at our front door last night. It was about 6 pm on a Saturday. My first thought was “One of the neighbour’s kids must have kicked his ball over our fence.”

Lo and behold! When I opened the door, there stood – resplendent in his white shirt and even whiter teeth, with pristine lanyard displaying a shiny ID badge, and heavy-duty clipboard held like a medieval skirmisher’s shield - a hawker, a door-to-door salesman.

Was I pleased to see him?

No.

It was a Saturday evening and he was trespassing on my property and my time.

Was I my normally kind and empowering self?

No.

This was battle. He wanted to plunder my time and my money. And I had no intention of giving him any quarter.

Did I even let him speak?

No.

Because (to my eternal shame) I have both trained telemarketers and worked as one. Therefore, I know that the core skill of the good hawker (whether ”assailing” you via telephone, at your front door or in the foyer of your business) is to keep you talking, to keep you engaged. Unfortunately, a quick “No, thankyou” followed by a switched off phone or a closed front door is as polite as you can afford to be.

This got me thinking (off on a tangent again!). I’m fiercely protective of my home. I won’t allow many things or people into it. But how about my mind and emotions?

If you and I talked about it, we’d undoubtedly agree that fretting, judgmentalism, self-doubt and holding a grudge are all unhealthy. They’re even against my own personal principles and the values of my faith.

I’ve also  found often that they are working away in my mind, plundering my time, my emotional energy, my integrity, my creativity, my health, etc etc.

Who let them in? I did.

There is a wonderful metaphor in The Bible for these things (relax, I’m not gonna preach a sermon atcha!): “fiery arrows”. Perhaps you can picture a battle scene from a Ye Olden Days movie, arrows with fiery tips are streaming over the castle walls. One lands in a thatched roof. If the denizens of the castle extinguish it early, no harm done apart from a scorch mark. But if it’s allowed to take hold – WHHOOOSH! – you got a big fire to contend with and it’s spreading quickly!

If my home is my Castle, my mind is the Keep. And if the telephone and the front door are the gateways to my home, then my initial mental response to fretting, condemning and self-doubt are the gateway to my self. I don’t want my mind and emotions infected with these bugs any more than is unavoidable.

It’s helped me to try to catch things quickly. When the anxiety mechanism kicks in, to simply change channels in my head. When the impulse to take offense (my biggest struggle) kicks in, to say “Hold on, brain. Let’s not go there!” When the voice of judgment starts to belittle someone, to start complimenting them internally and externally.

Let’s face it, if we don’t have time to waste talking with people who want to sell us stuff we don’t need or want – we certainly don’t have time to waste worrying, complaining or beating ourselves up.

How are the defenses at your gates?