Great Circle

This piece was written for us by Katy Lee. Enjoy!

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Driving to work I see expensive Rolex watches on the billboard. I get home to watch TV, and I am faced with commercials with the latest Lexus model. I turn on my computer to check my Facebook and I am bombarded with flashing ads selling everything from shoes to phones.

Everywhere you turn, someone is trying to get you to buy stuff. Every medium is about selling advertising. Even the baseball stadium is named after the sponsoring company!

My family is not rich, but we are far from having to beg on the street. I have everything I need, so I should be quite content. But the messages I see and hear, everywhere I look, are telling me that I need more stuff.

And that message was getting to me.

When I look in my closet, I think I have “nothing” to wear. I look at the refrigerator and yearn for a new one with more features. I look in the mirror and …well, let’s just say I wanted some changes there too. Advertising was telling me about everything I lacked, and I found myself dissatisfied with what I have, and even who I am.

Then a simple event turned me around. Have you ever have an epiphany where a light bulb goes off? I went to the funeral of my friend’s mother. There is something about being faced with the reality of death that puts everything into perspective. During the memorial service, I had one of those moments of introspection, “Katy, what is life all about? Do you think better stuff will make you happier? At the end of your life, are those “things” going to make a difference?”

Consumerism which is suppose to enhance the quality of my life, was in fact keeping me from enjoying my life.

While our culture continues to inundate us with messages of “more” and “newer”, I made 4 deliberate choices to go against that noise:

1. Stay away from the mall. Going shopping used to be a favorite pastime. “What do you want to do today?” “Let’s go walk around the mall.”

I don’t do that anymore. Looking at all the stuff I don’t have only makes me discontent. I don’t have room for all that stuff anyway.

2. Don’t buy anything I don’t need immediately. When I go shopping, I only buy what I need to buy and no more. Even if it’s on sale, and even if I could use it one day, I pass. I definitely don’t have room for more stuff.

3. Count my blessings everyday. As my mother used to say, “Why do you need so many pairs of shoes, you can only wear one pair at a time.” I thank God I actually have more than one pair of shoes, and that is more than I need. At the end of each day, before I sleep, my daughter and I each take a turn thanking God for something specific.

4. Focus on building relationships. A friend told me her mother was known for her hospitality. She was always ready to have a friend over for a cup of tea. Did she have a fancy house to entertain? No, she couldn’t afford more than a one-bedroom cottage. But she would lay a table cloth on the table in her tiny kitchen and enjoy the company of her friends. It wasn’t what she had, but who she was that people remembered. I am not going to be self-conscious about having the right house or the right clothes. Being the right person by showing kindness and generosity is much more important.

Whenever I feel the bug of discontentment, I think of that funeral. Life is not about materialism. Keep yourself away from those who tell you otherwise, and focus on the stuff that matters most.

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Katy Lee enjoys life with her husband and three children in the suburbs of Los Angeles. Her passion for spreading family values, through her personal stories, is found on her website http://www.AdventuresInParenting.org/