When you’re a solo business owner, it’s so important to have relationships like this with outcomes like these. And there are other roles where keeping close to others of your ‘species’ can prove invaluable.

The single parent. The Dad. The buck-stops-here Boss. The Church minister. The Youth Worker. The Creative type. For all of you, it’s very very easy to become isolated, unchallenged, unsupported, stale. If you’re feeling like that, I encourage you: go looking! Refresh those old contacts; join a group; have a beer or a lunch with someone else from your species.

Twice this year, I’ve run 8-week Dad groups in my local community, each with a different group of men. Both times, one man in each group said something to this effect: “I thought these things just happened in my family. I thought there was something wrong with me, with us. Now I now we’re normal and it happens everywhere. I’m a lot more relaxed at home and less stressed about how I’m doing as a Dad.”

Seek others of your species. We all need each other…

The reason I mention this is because I was profoundly affected by the difference in the way my birthday was acknowledged by two different people (whose services I have “employed” over the past year or more).

The first person was Leah Maclean. Over the past 18 months, Leah has been my on-and-off business coach, mentor-coach and internet/tech guru/troubleshooter. But she fast moved from being my coach and website designer to being my friend, ringing me occasionally for no reason other than to “shoot the breeze”, inviting me into a Rugby League tipping competition (in which I’m beating her by the way, despite her vastly superior passion for and knowledge of the game), tweaking things on my websites and sending me tips and helpful info far above and beyond the call…

Today, Leah posted birthday wishes on my Freakedout Fathers blog and sent me a carefully picked out Hallmark e-card containing a private joke.

By the way, the card’s theme was 10 Things You No Longer Have Now You Are Old. I particularly related to 

• # 2, (the ability to get up once you fall down – although for me this is more about the desire to get up again; lying down feels so good),
• # 8 (20/20 vision – last week I proved this when walked into a metal crossbar that I’ve known was at the end of our washing line for 9 years … and gave myself a slight concussion), and
• # 10 (firm abs – I’m beginning to call my abs “flabs”) …

Anyway, back to my story. Leah’s birthday wishes were heartfelt and I know she had no intention of reminding me that she’s out there or that I need her services or any other business-driven agenda. These acts of acknowledgement came on the back of Leah’s track record of authentic friendliness and humanity. They mean a lot…

Let’s compare that with a small business I’ll call Madison Professional Services (MPS). The Madison has been changed – the business is named after the woman who owns it and employs 2 part-time accountants (besides “Madison”) + a receptionist.

MPS handled my tax last year and charged me twice the fee I’d paid another agent the previous year … and for no discernible extra service or benefit. During the appointment, there was no small talk, no interest in what I did beyond its relevance to tax returns (and other services they offer), no inquiries into how I was faring in my first year of a business start-up…

I arrived home yesterday and looked through my mail. There was an envelope with one of those sticky labels you put through your printer adhered to the front with my name and details printed in clean crisp Times New Roman font.

Curious, expecting either a ransom note or one of those “You’ve Won the Spanish Lottery” letters, I opened it first.

Out fell a 10 X 8 centimetre piece of card. On it were the words “Madison Professional Services wishes you a very happy birthday & a successful year ahead!” – their phone number then the words “Accounting – Bookkeeping – Conveyancing”.

The piec-de-resistance (or however you spell that!) was the fact that bottom of the card was cut at a slight diagonal angle, presumably because 2 or 3 of the same messages had been printed on to that piece of cardboard then chopped (badly) into 2 or 3 personal birthday wishes to be sent to various lucky clients.

Which of these 2 businesswomen do you think I will return to when I need the services they offer? Which one do you think I will recommend to my contacts? Which one genuinely made my birthday feel great? And which one will never hear from this customer again?

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